Wednesday 30 January 2008

Chav Lifestyle

Jobs
Generally, Chavs spend most of their time unemployed but still manage to get hold of the latest trainers, have plenty of cigarettes and generally succeed in drinking to their heart’s content.
Chavs like money (especially when they haven’t had to work for it) because spending it enables them to display STATUS.

If a Chav can get by on the dole, s/he will. There are, however, some typical jobs out there for the willing:

For Chavettes
Trainee Hairdresser
Trainee Beautician
Cleaner
Barmaid

For Chavos
Cowboy builder / Plumber / Roofer
Market stall trader
Mechanic
Security guard

For either
Checkout cashier at Lidl, Netto or Aldi.
Fast food restaurant employee
And at last but not least, the ultimate Chav summer job….Holiday rep – Spain, the Canary Islands, and of course Ibiza!

Attitude
The answer to everything is attitude.
Chavs are eye-contact aggressive. If anyone dares to look them in the eye, it is assumed that they are asking for a fight or a kick up the backside.

Only loners are picked on by Chavs, thought, because otherwise the Chav pack (usually a group of about seven) would have to leg it.
And this would not be cool.
Chavs have an inbuilt mechanism that encourages disrespect for all authority, whether it comes in the form of parents, a policeman, pub landlord or judge.

Shiftiness is the name of the game.

Books and Music
The Sun, Daily Star and the Sort (or the Daily Mail for the more cultured person) are about the only things Chavs even consider reading. And preferably someone else’s copy.

Chav music consists mostly of Top 40 Rap (for the Chavos), R&B (for the Chavettes) and Dance (for both sexes). Favourites are Eminem, The Streets, anything Garage, Craig David, D12, 50 Cent.

Diet
Chav food and drink consists of Supernoodles, Pot Noodles, weed, beer, cheap cider, and MacDonald’s for Sunday lunch…
Hang-Outs
MacDonald’s, KFC, Burger King, shopping centres, off licences, bus shelters, street corners…To sum up, Chav’s leisure pursuits are: spending all their dole money on brand-named sports gear and blinding, whiter-than-white trainers; taking a decent car and turning it into an ugly, noisy, street-racing novelty; cadging cigarettes off passers-by; smoking cheap cigarettes; talking rubbish; starting a fight; picking on loners; clubbing.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Ok, i'll stereo-type, seeing as the author has; I bet the author is some floppy-haired, effeminate, middle-class ponce called Tarquin or Charles, who seems to think all working class people are chavs by default.

Feel free to hate the chavs, but don't tar all working class people with the same brush as the chavs, you ignorant bell-end.